Monday, May 11, 2009

How about..

You get the heck out of my belly!
So much for 3rd babies tend to come early. Seriously! I love this baby! I really do. I've wanted him/her even though being pregnant again was a bit of a shock. I have actually mostly enjoyed being pregnant this time around. This is the 3rd time in 4 years that I have willingly given up all rights to *my* body and what *I* want, so that a new person could growing and thrive and be healthy.
You hear pregnant women often say they are "done" toward the end of their pregnancy. How done do you have to be to be truly done?
I tell you what...I am freakin DONE. The word can not even begin to explain how DONE I actually am. I have finished my job..I know this baby is healthy and I know he or she would be just fine coming out now. I can no longer take care of my other kids or do anything really. My life has stopped totally until I can move again. How incredibly frustrating!
The problem...the baby doesn't care in the least. Apparently, my womb is super comfy and the baby is prepared to live in there for forever. It doesn't matter that I can barely eat or move. I get NO sleep..zero! I either can't pee at all or I pee every 2 seconds. I have heartburn no matter what position I'm in. There is no longer room for any of my own organs..or bones for that matter. Doesn't matter that my other 2 kids are wondering why mommy won't play with them or can't pick them up when they need comfort. Doesn't matter that I am completely disconnected from my husband, because it is so painful to be touched anywhere but my toes.
Doesn't matter at all about me. Nope, the baby doesn't care at all. So, what do I do? Pray..a lot. Begging God to please have mercy on me and bring this baby into the world. Please today...please. So far the begging hasn't worked. It doesn't rock my faith, but it makes me angry, frustrated, and disappointed.
I am SO grateful for this baby, but I can't wait until he or she is outside my body and I can take care of the rest of my family again. Including *me*!

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Soon ... soon Momma. Hang in there and (((hugs)))!